What is Elder Mediation?


This is a process whereby family members, including aging parents, volunteer and agree to work with a trained mediator via a respectful, poignant, and civilized conversation. This can include family members, spouses, care givers, and professional service providers so that basic agreements and long term plans can be reached. This group, through the guidance of a mediator, address concepts of need, fairness and fears, and determines as a group what is in the best interest of the parents. We develop solutions with the family members, not for the family members.

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As Adults, we often argue about how to handle our aging parents' needs for long term care and daily activity issues. We often face overwhelming physical, financial, and emotional demands. In the face of these challenges, communication between family members can be difficult.

While brothers and sisters may know each other very well, the likelihood is they have never had to work together to solve problems, at least not since early childhood. Clearly, a parent in need can trigger some "nasty" disagreements. An elder care mediator can help avoid divisive costly fights and even litigation, help develop clearer understandings and most importantly, help keep the family intact by helping the family solve problems together.

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​Parents maintain their dignity and autonomy by being included in decision making.​

Participants build a custom made plan that works well for them and their parents.

Successful family mediation leads to resolution of problems on multiple levels, with healthy conversations -- not arguing and finger pointing.

Meaningful solution making processes for the family as they overcome difficult challenges and changes and seek to avoid litigation anxiety and expense.

Provides flexibility to meet the needs of parties in various conflict scenarios.

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  • Is a neutral third party who helps the family with appropriate processes in order to help them reach true consensus on decisions regarding elder care.

  • Helps clear up misunderstandings, provides for the expression of true feelings and keeps the family on track.

  • Helps family members heal hurt feelings, as well as working to avoid blame and self-pity.

  • Provides for future modifications of their written agreement as the need arises.

  • Involves the parents in the process, focusing on their capabilities rather than their perceived incapacities - Attorneys often deal exclusively with a guardian or attorney-in-fact, but in mediation, parents can be included fully or to the extent possible.

  • Encourages family members to focus on what is in the best interest of their parent.

  • Helps the family members consider as many options as possible.

  • Helps them evaluate options while leaving the decision making to the family.

Topics at Issue

Quality of life

Housing and living arrangements

Active daily living skills

Needs & limitations (such as driving), transportation for medical appointments or social events

Care giving duties, relief for care givers, level of care plans and support for the care giver as well as the parents

Financial decisions including financial planning, asset distribution and protection and resolution of family's disputes and expenditures

Healthcare decisions, emergency decisions, and end of life decisions and planning

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The hiring of a lawyer is an important decision that should not be based solely on advertisements. Before you decide, ask us to send you free written information about our qualifications and experience by contacting us online or by phone at 850-650-7378.

© 2020 by Greg D. Crosslin.

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